Taking Responsibility Before Casting Blame

Daryn Reif
2 min readMar 30, 2019

Avoid the Blame Game

In business when things are not working out, the tendency is to cast blame on others and then seek to change those people. Why? Because it’s much more convenient to charge others rather than take personal responsibility for your possible contribution to the situation. A by-product of the “blame game” is a lot of stress because we can perceive ourselves as prisoners to others dictating our outcomes. No bueno!

It’s important to distinguish what YOU can change what you can’t. While our powers are not limitless in terms of changing everything and everyone, we do wield a mighty weapon for initiating change — our own behavior. Simply modulating our own style or approach can unlock improved performance and working relationships.

Leadership means leading ourselves to perform in flexible manner to enable the organization to be most effective…not necessarily bending the organization to our will. Don’t get me wrong — I’m not suggesting abandoning the style and methods that have made you a successful leader. We can stay true to our core principles while at the same time slightly pivoting in a manner that improve the odds of meeting our objectives.

Look Inward First

Whether it’s your tone or your techniques for expectation setting, collaboration or project management any and all may benefit from a little tuning to better align with your team’s personality. It’s amazing what a slight pivot can do. When I’m working with Engineers, I have to understand they like things black and white and very linear so I try to communicate, plan and collaborate with them with this in mind. On the other hand, in a creative environment, I’ll de-emphasize structure, promote experimentation and reward risk taking.

We’ve all heard the old axiom “lead by example” and it rings true here. We as leaders must have the capacity to be honest with ourselves about how our own behavior may be contributing to the dynamics of a situation and take personal responsibility first. After all, aren’t we expecting others to do the same?

Asking (or coercing) others to change their behavior can be a heavy lift. Consider as a first move to look inward. Step back and ask yourself:

  • “What can I do differently?”
  • “Who I am working with and how can I help them succeed?”
  • “How are my actions or approach contributing to this undesired situation?”

Consider taking personal responsibility as the price of admission for successful leadership and a high-functioning organization.

Originally published at https://coronacg.com on March 30, 2019.

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Daryn Reif
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Father of 3 and a 49er faithful. Moonlights as a management consultant.